by Kasey Pastor
629 words (4 minutes)
|Everyday I stand in
front of the mirror trying to understand why do I put
myself through this crap, why do I care? But my answer
always resorts back to her. We have the best of times
together, she is the sweetest person you'll ever meet. My
best friend she is, so cute and unique we are together,
but why does she not understand me? Every day, she
bewittles me, gives me lectures on being more happy, and
not being sutch a snot. She always tells me I'm
unconsiderate, dissapointing, and to depressing, and I'll
never make it in life. She tells me my hopes and dreams
are great...but I better have many back ups becuse none
of it is ever gonna happen, I'm just not talented enough.
She claims I have a hard time with sad things and cry a
lot (I'm very emotional) just becuse I want attention.
She tells me I'm a dumb ditz. I always answer "nobody's
Everytime, I feel scared or unsure of something, instead of telling me "everything's gonna be alright", she just shakes he r head at me and rolls her eyes, like I mean absolutely nothing to her. She will tell our other best friend secrets all the time, but never tells me, then just sits there and laughs. I try to act like I'm not hurt by saying, "secrets aren't fun." She replies, "they are when we keep them from you." Why do I care about her so much? Why do I always insist, if she is saying this stuff, it must be true, I must mean nothing. My friends tell me this is not true! And say they have no idea why she would say that. Most of the time I would just insist they were just trying to be nice. Then one day she came to school, and went to go give her a hug, just like always, and she backed away, and said, "You know what, do me a favor and don't talk to me for the rest of the week, okay." And I said, "but it's the last week of school..." Then she replied, "Wait, no, do me a favor don't talk to me ever."
Although, I did not listen. I tried everything I could and she said she never wanted to be my friend again. At that moment I fell to the floor in the hallway at school, and started crying, everyone elce was already in class, as I laid there sobbing. Ever since, I've looked into this darn mirror, and cried, then cried myself to sleep, screaming, "Why?" it's just not fair to me! So then one day I realized, I had to go on with my life and be stronger than ever! I had to prove to the world I'm still, gonna last, and have one of the most fun, creative lives ever. Because always I will remember my motto: Everything happens for a reason, good or bad, you always get domething out of it! So loosing my good friend, helped me be stronger, and how to be a better person, and what it feels like to be labled skum by your best friend, so now I can help others who go through that everyday.
And although, when me and her make eye contact in the hallway, she gives me a look like if looks could kill: I'd be dead a thousand times. But I just blink, open my eyes, and smile, now... the last tim! e ! we made eye contact, she smiled too! So I know deep down inside her... I'm still there, and I always will be because now I know just like she did... I was never any of those things! I was just me.. a good friend.