by Ava Lindt
Estimated Length: 2 minutes
Maria and her boyfriend have not been able to see each other for a few months since they met at a
youth retreat. They have been keeping in touch via letters and phone calls, and this is a particular rough spot. / E-mail / Feedback form / E-mail this page / Back to Naranja
I'm better. Had a conference with myself. Just wanted you to know
that. I have some questions. If we were able to see eachother more would it make it any better?
If we were able to talk on the phone more would it make it okay? If we
were able to talk about our lives instead of our feelings in our letters would it make
it better? I don't know. I just can't end this. That would make me feel
really horrible. But you're going to do what you're going to do. I'm sad
and sick and sorry about your letter. And I'm sorry you've been
depressed about this, I haven't because I've been ecstatic about the
whole concept of you.
But if we stop talking now, what do we do when we see eachother and I
have feelings for you still? Can I hug you? Kiss you? Or do I have to
act like a saint because we're "friends?"
I guess I'll just deal with it when the time comes. If you want to stop
writing you won't touch the keyboard. And I'll fight my hardest trying
not to touch mine. I'll erase you from my address book. But you won't be
erased from my mind.
I don't understand how you can go from being mooshy and "I want to hold
you"-icious to wanting to be platonic. I don't understand how people can
just STOP having "feelings" for eachother. That doesn't happen! I can't
just install a stop sign in our intersecting lives (oh gee i'm gettin
very metaphoric). If you want to come up here the week after school ends
the doors are open. If you don't want to be involved then I guess you
won't make the trip. I want you to hold me again. I want the chance to
have my FIRST kiss. WITH YOU.