by Annie Z

335 words (2-2.5 minutes)

I'm sure you all think you know me, Satan, Beelzebub, Lucifer, take your pick, and I know EXACTLY what you've been up to.  Yes, even that!  I'm just here to say that what you think you know is all wrong.  What they taught you in Sunday school isn't true.  Sure, I may be the master of all Hell, but it's not my fault!  How was I to know the "man upstairs" can't take a joke?  One little whoopie cusion...and poof! my halo became horns.  The look on His was priceless!  If I knew that one little practical joke was gonna cost me my wings...I still woulda done it.  I never liked that harp-thingie anyway.  Sure, you kill someone and He's all-forgiving, but you pull one prank, and it's out you go!  Don't get me wrong, he has a great sense of humor, as long as the joke's on someone else.  Giraffes?  Platypusses?  That guy sitting over there?

Come on, you KNOW he's laughing!  That time you were looking for hours but couldn't find what was rught under your nose?  He! w! as bored.  That time you left that important work at home, when you were absolutely, positively sure you took it?  Him again.  The serpent never told Eve to eat the apple, it just told her a funny joke about the Almighty.  Adam, being a guy, told Jehova himself.  I mean, how stupid can you be?  God had to cover it up in the bible with that "tree of good and evil" story.  Seriously, I'm not all that bad.  Hey, I can even be nice once you get to know me.  As long as you can take a joke...I just wanted to clear up any misunderstanding and warn you that the Omniscient One really hates practical jokers.  Thanks for your time, and I'll be seeing YOU soon.

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