by Crystal Fairfield
My brain just wouldn't shut up today. It kept telling me on and on all the things I should be doing. But I don't want to do anything. Why isn't it okay to sit and just be? Why does everyone have to run around all crazy all the time? I'm perfectly happy being me. Why do I have to go out into the world and get some "special" title that won't help me any because I'm still going to die. I just want to sit here. I want someone to tell me that I don't have to go anywhere or be anything to be special. I just have to be me. I just want to be me.
Sure, it would be great to make all kinds of money, but who does that really help in the end? Money doesn't buy happiness, everyone knows that. Well, I guess it can buy some temporary plastic happiness that eventually will fade away like the seasons. I know there is people out there who have jobs where they really make a difference in the world. They help people. Maybe I'm just selfish, but I don't want to help anyone! It's not that I don't want to help anyone, but I'd just rather be invisible. Invisible people never really have to deal with life. I don't want to be an adult, and I don't want to get old. Yes, I know there is no other option, everyone gets old, but I always just thought I was special, and I wouldn't have to get old and die. Die. I don't want to die. It seems I don't want to do anything. Oh, I just wish my brain would stop yelling and screaming. I'm tired, so very tired. I think I will go to sleep now. That's the only way out, you know you just have to ignore the pounding in your head. Put it off, for another day, another time.