Not going to get over it
by Ashleah Stimer

417 words (3 minutes)

     I remember that night very well and you expect me to just get over. To make it all okay because you can’t help me, you can’t even understand the pain I went through. It’s been three years and I thought the pain would go away or at least fade a little. And you come in here and see me crying and I’m supposed to get over it. Let me tell you about that night, I was a girl of eleven. I was going through a lot, a new step dad, started smoking, watched my mom get beat up a couple of times, that was the same year I lost my virginity. And I guess that’s where I should start. I used to swear I wouldn’t lose my virginity until I was married, well I was father less, my grandfather died when I was five, I felt totally betrayed by men and the neighbor boy showed interest in me so I felt special so I lost my virginity to him well after I did I wasn’t special anymore I just the girl he scored. I felt like a real slut but I got over it. I wasn’t a virgin. But I picked up the pieces and moved on.

Then it was a little after Christmas and I went over to my aunt’s house and her boyfriend was there. He was really cool and he was really nice to me. I trusted him. Well I was up real late and everyone was sleeping well anyways I must’ve woke him up and he came out and we were talking. And then he asked me to have sex with him. I didn’t really know what to say, I wanted to say no but it kind of scared me. I finally found my voice and I told him I didn’t want to and he asked me why not. And I told him that it wasn’t right and he just wouldn’t take no for an answer and by now he was sitting next to me and he got on top of me. He then took of my clothes and I don’t know why I didn’t scream I guess I couldn’t. Then I went numb… all I could fell was him on top of me. I couldn’t stop it, I couldn’t fight, I was powerless. I didn’t say anything for two weeks I felt so guilty. But you know what? This wasn’t my fault and I’m not going to just get over it.

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