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by Heather 215 words (1.5-2 minutes) It's not fair. They don't realize what is happening to me. They look at me and see a pretty girl, one of the happy people. But they just don't see how unhappy things are for me, the pressure I have to be perfect. I have to be perfect. I have to look perfect. Act perfect. Its impossible, I know, but I try. That has always been my problem. I have to learn the hard way. It's always been that way. I can't listen to stories about people who've been through what I have and take their word for it. They just don't understand that I need to learn for myself.They also don't understand how if I eat one more cookie I'll gain even more weight. I don't eat lunch because I would be huge if I did. They have never felt that feeling of hunger as they lay in bed and think,"I didn't eat today, how wonderful! I'll eat yogurt and drink water tomorrow as a reward. But no more than that..." They're all so skinny, so they don't understand, never will either because they will always be happy about who they are. And I will just be the shadow standing there wishing I was comfortable in myself. |