by Danielle

848 words (5.5-6 minutes)

     (An eighteen year-old girl is trying to say goodbye to her younger boyfriend before she leaves for college.) I don't know what to say. I've though about it all week, waited all week, all day. And now, I can't find the words. I just want to be here-- just to get lost in your eyes forever.

(Slight pause, and reality dawns on her)

No, not forever. I want to go, except I don't. I mean, I do, but I don't, I...(trails off.) I can't stay. I have to go. I want to go. This is what I've been waiting for my whole life. This is the moment I've been building up to, working for, every day of my life. School, books, SATs, and, damnit, I've worked so hard for this. And I'm gonna leave...I have to get out of here and there are so many things I want to do with my life. Not just college, but everything. I mean, why else have I been working so damn hard? For grades? Maybe, at the beginning, Like freshman year when I had no idea that I would ever grow up. But, geez, the world's not made of A's and B's. You know, perfect SATs don't automatically put you on the track to cure cancer. You gotta want it. You've gotta want to touch the stars and fly to the moon and to paint the rainbows oranges and purple and green. You've gotta be day-dreaming about the great, exciting things that you'll be doing. Doesn't matter really if it's composing music or building a bridge, writing a novel or finding a cure to the common cold. You could be doing algebra all day for all I care, just so long as you still care. I mean you, you really you won't let anything stand in your way, not money, not love, not anything. That's how bad you gotta want it.

And that's why I'm leaving. I want it. I want it so badly....And, God, I know I'm going to miss this place. I mean, I love this place. But I have to get out of here and you understand that or if you don't understand it, then you will understand, someday, when it's you doing this dance, instead of me....

I can't believe I'm leaving though.I feel like I'm going to summer camp or I'll be back in a couple of weeks.

You know, all year, it's been, "I can't wait to graduate, I can't wait, I can't wait." And right now, I think I could wait, just another week, or a month. because I'm here now, looking at you. I don't even want to move. I don't want to think about the future or dwell on the past or anything. I just want now, I want to take this very moment and and just hold it next to my heart forever or, at least, stuff it in my pocket for safe-keeping. I don't want to stay, but I don't want to go either...(pause, smiles)

Unnngh!, why do you have to be so damn cute? I'm going to miss you so much. And, you know, I knew this would happen. From the first day when I realized that I liked you, I knew I'd have to leave. I've known all year. I just knew we were going to have to break up, sometime. I even thought that maybe it would be better I started ignoring you early on..then it wouldn't be such a loss when I left. I'm such a frigging idiot!

(Realizing that she just gave away what she had planned to say) I don't think this will work but, I don't want to lose you. You've been my best friend for a long time now. I think it's better. Well, I don't want you to be tied down, not during your junior and senior years. I mean, come on, who am I kidding? You're gonna meet a lot more girls than just me and, let's face it, I'm gonna be away for a long time. What I was trying to say is you're a babe magnet. No, that's not it. I think we should be able to see other people...

But, I love you. I mean, no, this is coming out all wrong. I just don't want to lose you. I mean, boyfriends come and go: this is high school for God's sake. But friends are hard to find. Please, I'm proposing to you, be my friend.

So, this is it, huh? I have to go. Um...never thought this would be so hard leaving. Shit, I don't know whats wrong with me.

(Long pause, she is searching for words and fighting back tears, but they come anyway, silently falling on her blouse)

I'll miss you so much...(a whisper) I love you.... God, what if I never see you again? I'm sorry, I'm a mess.

(Tries to get a hold of herself, smiling bravely through red eyes) I have to go. Well, I've got a minute left. So, How 'bout those Knicks? (laughs unconvincingly) God, I can't think of anything to say. I don't want to say...(trails off)...Here, you're my best friend in the whole world, and I can't think of anything intelligent or witty to say to you.

So, I guess I'll just stand here and look at you until you think of something to say. Say something nice, huh. Like always. Something tremendously witty and beautiful and wonderful, anything at all. ...just please, don't say goodbye yet.

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