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by Erica 430 words (3 minutes) I'm so confused right now, and each thing I do and say just confuses me even more to the point of fear. How far can the confusion go until I can't even control the course of my own life anymore? I'm confused about everything; love, friendship, faith, love, religeon, goals, beauty, memories, pain, life, death, everything. Mostly love, for it really IS all of those things listed. I've tried reaching deep inside myself to better understand all these things, to find the answers to all my questions for I'm told and tell myself they're deep within me. I come up empty. There's no one to turn to, I just get different mixed answers that confuse me more so, therefore, I am trapped. Lonely. I do not know where this blank spot in life will take me nor do I yearn to find out. But I'm being blindly lead down a path that I'm not sure that I want to go down and I'm kicking and screaming all the way. Each step makes a certain part of my life confusing!I most fear is getting to the end of the path and finding the inevitable truths and answers to my questions that I ache so badly to know yet fear what they may be. So now what? Can anybody help me?? Hear my pleas?? Is anyone out there? Or is this just another one of those things I must do myself..... I can't. Yet they say can't is not a a real word, there is no "can't". There's one thing I've found, there IS a can't. I CAN'T find love and I CAN'T find peace and I just CAN'T seem to be able to do anything that I want to. So what does that mean? If my life is full of can'ts than does that mean I'm headed towards some kind of doom? Is that where this twisted path is headed? Then HELP ME! SOMEONE! I CAN'T do this alone. Or can I? I am so weak, so small, so young and confused and I will always be this way. I guess that's what's meant to be. Is it? Do you know? Do I? No. I don't know anything. It's all up to you now. It's all up to you, brain, conscience, heart. It's all up to you, friend. Nonexistent friend, there are no friends. No one, no one but me and I am frail and weak, headed nowhere. Blind on this path, no one to lead me. Please lead me....please. |