Anna has been dealing with the fact that he person she adores is in love with her old best friend turned vixen. She herself is
vaguely pretty, but plain. This is her first love and it has hit her like a bad hurricane.
Today I felt beautiful. Not the kind of all knowing beautiful, just beautiful like they say in the movies and in our dreams. When the guy is sitting at the bar talking to some other scum and saying,Shes so beautiful. This is how I felt. I dont know what beauty is. I never really have gotten the lure of a girl with the crazy green eyes and reddish dyed hair hair. I always thought it was just because she was pretty. And everyone with a platonic brain over their necks for her knew that. But she was mad and mean. And she held nothing of value for me except the scattered words in her poems.
There was something there though. And I dont know if he sees that something or if hes another one of those guys that sees her and wants to die with lust. I dont know these things. But I sit here trying to think all philosophically about it when I know that I am just another one of those people that can fall under spells. Like the rest of them. Fall under the spells of the starry eyes and then you forget that those people have no conscience. Theyve been built up with big egos to look in mirrors and make themselves out to be fishes. And her. With her roses and raves and vegan food. I dont know. These things don't mean anything in the scheme of things. She needs to be untouchable. Like some face on a Versace advertisement. Like some girl on the cover of Teen. Mysterious, but you know the story behind her.
My mind is mixed up. Sometimes I wonder how people like him can be in love with people like her. How were all obsessed with beauty. Were all obsessed with trying. But shes the girl who can wake up and still look gorgeous. Shes the girl who tried so hard to get where she is and shes still failing with anything and everything else but her looks. And I can see that. He cant.