Lucifer
by Annie Z
335 words (2-2.5 minutes)
| I'm sure you all think
you know me, Satan, Beelzebub, Lucifer, take your pick,
and I know EXACTLY what you've been up to. Yes,
even that! I'm just here to say that what you think
you know is all wrong. What they taught you in
Sunday school isn't true. Sure, I may be the master
of all Hell, but it's not my fault! How was I to
know the "man upstairs" can't take a joke?
One little whoopie cusion...and poof! my halo became
horns. The look on His face...it was priceless!
If I knew that one little practical joke was gonna cost
me my wings...I still woulda done it. I never liked
that harp-thingie anyway. Sure, you kill someone
and He's all-forgiving, but you pull one prank, and it's
out you go! Don't get me wrong, he has a great
sense of humor, as long as the joke's on someone else.
Giraffes? Platypusses? That guy sitting over
there? Come on, you KNOW he's laughing! That time you were looking for hours but couldn't find what was rught under your nose? He! w! as bored. That time you left that important work at home, when you were absolutely, positively sure you took it? Him again. The serpent never told Eve to eat the apple, it just told her a funny joke about the Almighty. Adam, being a guy, told Jehova himself. I mean, how stupid can you be? God had to cover it up in the bible with that "tree of good and evil" story. Seriously, I'm not all that bad. Hey, I can even be nice once you get to know me. As long as you can take a joke...I just wanted to clear up any misunderstanding and warn you that the Omniscient One really hates practical jokers. Thanks for your time, and I'll be seeing YOU soon. |