Toast by Ava Lindt Estimated Length: 1 minute
(Anne is probably 40 years old and dressed up rather fancy but a bit run down. She needs her wineglass filled and she is
sort of sloppy and drunk. Start out looking at the audience, everyone in the eye. If there are too many people than just peer at
everyone.)
Somebody once told me that if you didn't look everyone in the eye when you were making a toast, then you would end up with that
many years of bad love...making. So, I wanted to increase my blessings in that department. Neil wouldn't really like me telling you this,
but it's been a while. Months. It's like clockwork, him and I, but the clock ain't ticking too good. It's not Quartz, if you know
what I mean. It's more like some flimsy plastic chip that mopes around the house and tries to dress up as a sex life once in a
while. But we're good in other departments, we've finally mastered the cleaning regimen. Neily has gotten so good at getting all
the corners when he sweeps. Just not all MY corners when he does THAT sweep. Yes. And..(pause) Why are you all looking at me funny?
Do I have something in my teeth or am I just a * little * too talkative tonight? Shows you what a few glasses of this fine wine
will do to ya. (clears throat) Cheers!
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